As KFC attempts to explain the kidney found in one Gladiator box meal, Jessica Carter questions the level of quality control employed by British food giants…

Here’s a puzzler for you: what’s worse than taking a bite of your sandwich and finding a dead rat inside? Taking a second bite and finding half a dead rat. Funny? Not so much if, like one poor Tesco customer, you become the butt of this joke after swallowing a particularly chewy mouthful of your lunchtime snack. Feel a little queasy? Me too…

Following this unsavoury story, which saw said unfortunate customer end up with an R amongst her B, L and T, yet another case of a supermarket using slightly unusual ingredients in a pre-packaged product came to light.

If you happen to be reading this over lunch – please do look away now. Because this second case involves a mystery donor’s decidedly unacceptable…toenail in a jar of Aldi pasta sauce. This, of course, prompted a host of oh-so-hilarious headlines including ‘Toe-tellini, Anyone?’ and The Sun’s ‘Spaghetti Bolog-nail’.

Again, and most regrettably, this grim imposter was only discovered halfway through a no-doubt much-anticipated spag bol. Having dished up dinner for the whole family, Tracy Arnold from Cambridgeshire was understandably shocked when her unsuspecting 22-year-old daughter made the discovery, initially mistaking the morsel for a piece of gristle. Tracy got back down to her local Aldi store sharpish and appealed for a refund for the total £127 of her fateful shop, as well as a product re-call and full investigation. Toe-right.

There are countless questions thrown up by this story, perhaps among the more immediate of which is: who grooms themselves at work? And should these people really be in the food preparation industry?!

I’ll cut the toenail talk there (‘Thank God’, I hear you cry). Fear not though – and pick that sandwich back up if you’re strong of gut – because you can rest assured that if you do ever find a rogue rodent in your B.L.T, Tesco will see you right and restore the delicate universal balance. With a ten-pound gift voucher. Brilliant.

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